I lie like a rug - Haiku

I lie like a rug
But damn I'm so good at it
And you still love me

  • Bill Clinton
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Thanks for not caring - Haiku

I have done nothing
I have no experience
Thanks for not caring

  • Barack Obama
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A Democrat against corporate taxes

Wow.

I just had a Democrat friend of mine suggest that we eliminate corporate income tax.  His reasoning?  Since these taxes are just passed through to the consumer, they amount to a regressive tax. 

Wow. 

I completely agree.  I'm just shocked that he agrees. 

Just try explaining this to people who think corporations are bad and need to be punished.  Can you say windfall profits tax?

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A Stye in my Eye

It turns out that what I have is a stye.  (Thanks Aviva!)

And it's mostly gone now, no thanks to any help from me.  I pretty much did what any good man would do, which is to just ignore it until it goes away.  A solid strategy if I do say so myself. 

You know, I'd heard of styes before, but just never really understood what they were.  They say knowledge is power.  [Insert pithy punchline here.]

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Swollen Eye

I'm not sure exactly what in the heck is wrong, but my lower right eye is swollen, and has been for a few days.  And worse yet, it's really freaking sore.  I mean like someone-jabbed-a-stick-into-the-bottom-of-the-eye-socket sore.

At first I thought it was pink-eye, but my eye is white as can be.  My eye ball, that is.  The flesh underneath my eye is red and swollen.  Did I mention that it hurts?

I was hoping it would get better last night, but it's definitely worse today.  I guess I'll have to hit up the doctor soon.  Thing is, I'm betting that they'll look at it and say, "Yep, it's swollen.  Wait a few days and it'll go away." 

I did finally dye my hair back from blue, and perhaps i got some chemicals in there, but it's not my eye that hurts, but the flesh around it, so who know.  Perhaps a bug bite?

Worst part is that I want to rub it constantly, especially because today I can feel the puffiness, and it feels like I'm squinting so that I get that watery blurring, but I can't, 'cause it hurts.  Did I mention that it hurts?

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Ahwatukee Sue

For those who don't know, Ahwatukee Sue is a women who called into The Tom Leykis Show on November 3rd, 2006, and claimed to have murdered her boyfriend 5 years prior.  She was bragging about how she got away with it by telling the police that it was a suicide. You can listen to the original call here.

I was actually listening to the show on my way home from work that day, and remember sitting in my car in the driveway for quite a while so that I wouldn't miss any of the call.  It was riveting.  This lady was so freaking proud of what she'd done, she actually described how she shot him, where, with what type of weapon, etc.

You see, she believed that since she was questioned by the police, and they bought the suicide story, that she could no longer be charged for the crime.  However, this is clearly not true.  Dumb cunt.

Anyway, many thought this was a hoax, and unfortunately Tom really couldn't talk about it on the radio afterward, since they were aiding the police in the investigation.  In fact, it turns out they've known Sue's real name for over a year, but in order to help out the police, they agreed not to release any information until given the ok.  Finally, last week, the story broke.  After 20+ months of good, solid police work, they finally found the bitch, and have filed charges.  The story is here.

Her name is Megan Suzanne Vice, and the man she killed was the father of her child, Tortsen Rockwood.

I hope they convict that bitch, and that she rots in hell.

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Priceless

Well, ok, not exactly priceless.  I'm sure a jury will happily put a price on it at some point.  As well they should.

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Classic Obituary

According to SFist, this is real, though it's been pulled from the online version of the Valejo Times-Herald, where it originally ran.  Either way, it's freaking Classic!

Dolores Aguilar Obituary

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Decent Life Motto

If it doesn't make you money, or make you happy, don't bother with it.

-- Adam Carolla.

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Canadians Underrepresented in Porn?

Apparently so.  So much so, in fact, that they Canadian Government has been forced to step in and help out.

Who knew?

What I want to know is what exactly makes Canadian porn different from US porn?  Is it just that they perform the vaunted soixante-neuf?

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