As many of you know, my ongoing beef with fortune cookies is that they are rarely fortunes anymore.  However, the one I got yesterday was so absurd it made my laugh out loud.

Today is an ideal time to water your personal garden.

I'm pretty sure that this is some kind of reference to masturbation.  Trust me, my personal garden gets plenty of watering.  I don't really need a special day.  But hey, if it's an ideal time, I'll take it.